As I caught a glimpse of the last few empty pages in my journal I started reflecting on the art of journaling and why I started it in the first place. I don't know about you but as a new Christian (5 years ago that is) I had heard several times from well meaning ladies, the importance of journaling. Whether it was to document your prayers in written form or keep a list of things your grateful for... journal, journal, journal, you MUST journal! Oh how I tried, attempted for a few days, a few weeks, and failed,attempted again and failed...again. So I was a little ecstatic to see only two fresh, untouched pages left in my journal today! It made me ponder why. Why did I finally, after many failed attempts, keep at it? So I thumbed back to my very first entry which I am now going to be transparent and share with you. In this I think we'll find our answer.
Monday, July 26, 2010 I planned on starting this journal back in January as a way to document my findings as I read through the Bible chronologically. Well, here it is the end of July and I'm finally putting pen to paper! Nonetheless, I know I need an outlet in which to get my rambling thoughts out in hopes of sorting through and making sense of them. Being apart form David has been difficult but God is using my loneliness to do a great work in me. This journal may be a great way of documenting His work! Well I guess that wasn't so bad after all, not too terribly revealing :) I look back to that day, that period of my life and it was no joke, it was really HARD! My family was separated while David was working a new job in Florida with the Air Force. The babies and I stayed behind waiting, wondering if this would be a permanent thing and if we would move soon. There were just so many unknowns and fears coming at me that I needed, ached, and longed for the Lord. Journaling became my escape and more importantly the words in it became my personal love letters to God. Just as our prayers should allow us to be open, humbled before Him, so was my journaling. This is why I kept it up because it was just another medium in which to communicate to my Heavenly Father and I found fulfillment through Him in that medium just as in prayer. It was no longer a thing I thought I had to do if I wanted to be on the Good Christian list. It was my personal thoughts, feelings, struggles on paper. The best part is I can go back through and now see where God has brought me. I can see those heartfelt cries on that paper weren't for nought. I see because in some things He has brought me to the promised land and in some His answers are still unknown completely. Thank you Lord for the gift of communicating with you whether through words spoken or in print, thank you! P.S. Sorry for the hard to read format. Blogger is messing with my spacing once I post and frankly I have lost my patience and time to try and fix it! :)