Goodbye Numbness-I am Alive!

So many of you have already heard me go on and on about my new favorite book One Thousand Gifts by my new favorite author, Ann Voskamp. But I really cannot say enough about how God is using this book to help put everything into focus for me.

When I say everything I mean, my relationship with my husband, my role in our home, my relationship with my kids, and even this blog but it's all more clear because I have a deeper understanding of my most important relationship in Christ.

Sure, I'm a Christian of five years and sure I know how I should love and treat my family and how I should act. Let's face it though ladies, people (especially those we live with) are not always so lovable (and often times neither are we). And sure we're taught as Christians to love one another as Christ loves us (John 13:34), not to return evil for evil (Romans 12:17), and God has a good purpose for all things (Romans 8:28) but how do we practically apply all that knowledge of scripture?

Ann goes into great detail how God taught her the art of giving thanks. He led her to a place where she now gives thanks for 1000 daily gifts, big and small, from how the sun glistens on a soap bubble in the sink to the smile of a child.

Since reading the book I started pondering what is it I want, long for, yearn for, what is it I feel I'm missing? On a rare occasion when I was alone, driving to the grocery store on an emergency milk expedition, God revealed this to me... Numbness. I don't want to feel numb.

One of my greatest fears is to wake up one morning feeling as if I never took it all in, this life that is, and with it all the experiences and gifts that God gives. I don't want to waste this life God's blessed me with by focusing on what I don't have but instead giving Him thanks for what I do have.

I want to use this life to glorify Him more, to bring joy and love into the lives of my husband, my kids, and all who God places in my path. I want to take time to just sit and watch how a toddler marvels at a butterfly, or how a ten year old burrows his eyebrows low and sticks his tongue out during an intense Wii battle, or how my husband's face lights up when he comes into the room and sees me and the kids playing together.

The bottom line here, and point to my ramblings, is I don't want to miss God's gifts, His good and perfect gifts in ALL this life offers. All means just that...even when my husband shows his irritation AGAIN, or when my son forgets to make his bed AGAIN, or when the baby torments the cat AGAIN, or when I lose my cool towards the kids AGAIN... I can make the choice to give thanks even in those circumstances! And yes girls, it IS a choice. A choice that God backs you up on if you're willing to trust Him and to wait on Him. (Dt 31:8)

Psalm 33:20

We WAIT in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield.

So far in giving thanks, I have learned it takes my focus off the negative and instead the light of all the positive shines through. I can take even life's frustrations and stop and say "Thank you Lord. Although this situation is hard, I know it is here for a reason and you are allowing it in my life to strengthen my faith in you. What will you have me to learn from it? How can I glorify you through it it Lord?" Wow, what a difference this has made in my attitude towards my husband and kids! It allows me to set that peaceful tone in our home that I keep saying I want more of. Finally, I am learning it all starts with giving thanks to the Lord.

Will YOU thank the the Lord and start today by making a list of ALL the good gifts He's blessed you with today? As we approach Easter and ponder Christ's death, burial and Resurrection, I think we can safely say He is trustworthy, He loves us and He is faithful!

Have a blessed day everyone and start counting! :)

Visit Women Living Well Wednesdays, Ann Voskamp's site for Walk With Him Wednesdays and Internet Cafe Devotions for Word Filled Wednesdays

Feeling Homesick

For those of you who know me are probably wondering why I'm including an Ohio photo under the post title of feeling homesick.

I'm joining Jenn at Country Girl's Ramblings for Simply Saturday's and as I was going through my photo archives that reminded me of home, this one from a few years ago pulled at my heart strings. This Ohio sign, while we lived in Indiana, had become a familiar landmark for us as we made 3-4 trips a year to visit David's mom in Columbus. I miss her :(

It also got me thinking about how I just love pictures of roads, paths, streams,etc. They always make me wonder where they lead. That's why I chose the one I did for my blog header. Do you like it? I took this last year before we left Indiana. I drove this route almost everyday and that barn always made me smile, not sure why. I guess it's because it seemed clean, crisp, new among bland fields of corn and soybeans. Every time I look at that photo is takes me back to HOME.

The best part of this photo was something I actually intended to crop out...my rear view side mirror. I decided to leave it in because I began finding myself looking into it down that road. However, unlike most photos I like of paths and roads, I know where this one leads...HOME.

Yep, I'm officially experiencing the homesick blues! What makes you think of home?

I'm Still Here!

Okay so I know all of you thought I fell off the face of the Earth, but I promise you that I am still very much alive! My life became busier than usual shortly after my last post. The Lord's been helping me focus on my main priorities and my blog once again had to take a backseat. A ton has happened since February so I don't even know where to begin but I'll just highlight the big stuff.

I'm sure you all are curious about the little bambino I'm caring and he's doing great. Yes, I said HE! I think most couples hope to have both a boy and a girl but we are just pleased as punch that he's healthy and another little boy is what God's planned for us so we are super excited! Eian was with us at the ultrasound and literally jumped out of his seat and clapped yelling, "Yes, yes. I just knew I'd get a brother!"

He's been the sweetest kid about this whole baby deal. He comes by at random kissing or talking to my belly, especially since I told him the baby can hear sounds from outside the womb now. I just had a check up last week and all is right on target for July 13 but as all of mom's know the due date doesn't always mean much!

For an update, my niece is still with us but things are going great with her dad. I'm not to discuss details but what I can tell you is that the Lord is totally in control and my brother submitted his life to Christ almost two months ago! Funny how his tremendous improvement started taking place right around the time he got saved, huh? Praise God!

My husband is once again out of work but we are hopeful that something will come through. In the meantime, the Lord has used David's time at home to open our eyes to focus more on our marriage, parenting, and most importantly our spiritual growth. My husband and I have had some of the best conversations and have grown closer than we have ever been. I would not trade these past few months of financial hardship for anything! Like I mentioned at the beginning of my post, God has been working on helping me prioritize. Marriage is something you consistently work at but He now has David and I focusing on being better parents.

Neither my husband and I grew up in Christian homes, let alone know the Biblical principles to marriage, parenting, money management, etc. So the Lord has been working on us like you would not believe and it's for this reason I have not been more faithful in my posting. I do hope to get my testimony posted soon though. I celebrated my third year of being a follower of Christ this past February and I know some of you have wondered about my testimony.

I can say that I have nothing to hide, especially after bearing my soul in front of 100 women at the women's retreat a few weeks ago! I DO NOT like speaking in front of large groups, yuck!! God asked me to do it, I obeyed (reluctantly at times), and He got me through it! So I'll get that posted soon I hope. The retreat went so good by the way. Thank you to all of you who prayed over the planning. I have a few pics that I'll share soon as well.

Well I can say with confidence that I do not lack for anything to post on but just the time to do it! Please continue to be patient with me. I have missed all of my blog buddies though and hope that now the retreat planning is done I can keep up with everyone more.

Until next time....

Stef

Favorite & Least Favorite Chores

One of my blog buddies, MomstheWord is asking us to share our favorite and least favorite chores.  She's is asking we share three things...

What's your favorite household chore?

I don't know that I have ONE particular chore I'm just dying to do, but if I had to pick I would say laundry and cleaning the bathroom.  I know, I'm sick right?  Nothing makes me nauseous like a stale urine stench oozing from the potty room.  I painted a real pleasant picture didn't I?  You're going to go clean your bathrooms RIGHT now aren't you?

I love walking into a clean bathroom with the fresh clean smell of bleach!  Really I do.  If they would come out with a bleach candle I'd buy one!

What is your least favorite chore?

Dishes for sure!  I don't know why because I love a clean and empty sink but I procrastinate when the dishwasher's needing unloaded and dirty ones put in.  I sound so lazy don't I?  I also loathe sorting, organizing and filing paperwork and bills!  Uuuggghhh!  I actually will post on that later as I am being asked my wonderfully patient husband to hunker down and get it down before tax season.  You'll hear me whine about it on my blog all weekend I'm sure!

How do you motivate yourself to do your least favorite chore?

I think I just said it... my husband begging me!  Seriously, I've been putting it off since spring!

So that's it.  Now let's hear yours and make sure you visit Momstheword.

Make sure to share it with us both!

Looking Back at 2008

Awww.... it's good to be back in blogworld. I missed you all! I've actually had some time recently to visit a few of my favorite blogs. My girl Alexis over at Tales From the Back Acher inspired me by listing the happenings of their family for each month last year.

I however can barely remember what I had for breakfast! I thought it would be nice though to review at least the highlights (some good, some bad) from last year and be able to look back and see how the Lord's been working in our lives. So here goes....

January- The company I work for got a fresh start in a new building. We moved in Christmas Eve and spent most of January getting settled in.

February- My Avon business continued to take off and I won a $$$ prize for being a top recruiter. (please don't think I'm bragging because I get humbled by the Lord, see the review in May!)

March- We had a wonderful low cost swimming party for Eian's birthday with a Pokemon Pikachu cake and all for under $40! Woo Hoo!










April- I start to feel convicted of making Avon way too much of a priority and neglecting my family while still working my full time job.

My van poops out on me after being so faithful after 4 years, 250,000 miles and only $1800! My hubby's the master at good car deals.

My big Sis and her best friend from Florida come for a visit to go mushroom hunting, yeah it had NOTHING to do with me! I know, I know my family's twisted to drive 4 states to go mushroom hunting!

May- I feel a mild depression coming on from continued stress, pressure, and hopes of having more hours in the day!

A good friend of mine invites me to my first women's retreat. I go, reluctantly because off all my piling obligations. I went, was convicted that my walk with the Lord wasn't what He wanted it to be, repented and let go of so many things, and felt completely renewed and confident of what God wanted me to do. The bottom line... I wasn't trusting God to make a way for me to be a stay at home mom. Instead, I was trying to do it on my own and hurting myself and my family in the process. So the next day I called my Avon boss and quit the leadership program! I have never looked back and my family is so much better for it, thank you God!

June- We attended our annual company outing to the Indianapolis Indians baseball game.
My husband loses his job =0(

My husband's car ALSO poops out. Ironic timing huh?

I feel like the Lord asked me to mention to our church in having our own retreat. Little did I know that the one who mentions an idea at church is the one who heads it up! he, he A lesson learned!

July- I am really trying to remember something from July but I am totally drawing a blank!

Oh, I do know that my husband was still job searching! It was slim pickens job wise around here though and still is.

August- My little man enters the second grade!



Month three of no employment for my husband but he keeps his spirits up and finds a little work here and there.

We continue to trust God with finances and try to re-pay Him by seeking to be better stewards with the money He does give us. So we enroll in a free biblically based money management class at a local church.

September- Hooray, David finds a job! Praise the Lord!

We were given emergency custody of our little niece temporarily.

David decides to take a semester off from school to focus on helping me with the new changes in our world. Plus, I think he needed a break!

October- It was a busy month of trying to adjust to having another little person in our house. Everyone's getting along great though but are struggling with my niece's separation anxiety.

On Halloween our niece was removed from our home temporarily. It was a very scary, confusing, infuriating, but humbling time for all of us. My trust level in the Lord went sky high after this ordeal. Once again, praise God... even for the trials!

November- We're pregnant and thrilled!

We have a scare with my brother as he allows himself to get entrapped by his old ways. We continue to care for his daughter as he is placed in a treatment facility.

Myself and a friend at church begin the retreat sign up.

December- Busy, Busy, Busy but full of blessings! We took part in our churches Living Nativity again, Christmas for Everyone, took cookies to the women's shelter, attended both kids' Christmas programs, and my sister's family came in from Florida!

My brother seems to be thriving with his new program.

God provides for us for Christmas! We continue to struggle to get caught up financially from the job changes earlier in the year. My son got just enough goodies though but we only spent $50 on him! Our wonderful deacon gave us much needed but not asked for and completely unexpected help! We also had a friend of ours who cleaned out her son's room who just so happened to have unopened games and toys buried in his closet in which she gave to us. Well atleast that was her story. Thanks Andrea and Aaron!

Well there you have it. I'm sure I'll think of more highlights after I post this but I think I did pretty good for my memory! What I think is so awesome as I look back at our year is God's awesome faithfulness ( I plan to do a future post dedicated to this attribute of His). I honestly do not think I could have gotten through all of the trials and changes that happened without the Lord. Did anyone notice that all of the trials (except for the van pooping out in April) happened after I re-committed myself in May at the retreat? God is amazing! He is now blessing me and my family in so many ways with the baby, assiting my brother with his daughter and getting to witness to him, the joy of being involved with our own churches' retreat, and learning the lesson of trusting God is also trusting my husband to be the leader in our home and be a better helper to him. Thank you Lord!

I can't wait to see what God has in store for us in 2009!

Darn my Uterus!

Oh I knew I would get your attention with this post name!!! I think I'm taking after my girl at Little Toes and Cheerios (check out her today's post and you'll understand!). Actually my son's here and said, "Uh, Mom is that really how you spell utters?" Oh I died laughing!

Well let me just tell ya about my darn utters, I mean uterus. I went in today for what should have been a simple 10 minute appointment to hear the babies heartbeat. I had my 10 week and first prenatal check up two weeks ago and the nurse couldn't get the heartbeat with the little hand held thingy. She assured me I shouldn't worry and that it was still a tad early. Well I prayed about it, gave it to the Lord and got on with my life. I would be lying though if I said I wasn't the least bit anxious about today's appointment.

Since the miscarriage last year I guess I've been a little more cautious this time around. Even though I dared not to admit it to myself or anyone else, I secretly told myself, "Don't get too excited until you hear the heartbeat." I still trusted God with whatever the outcome may be but it's like I put on this steel armor for the last two weeks in order to not be too disappointed. Does that make sense?

Anyway, so I get into the doctor's office (finally) and she got down to business with the little hand held thingamajig. She slowly and patiently scanned my belly for any signs of a really fast swishing sound. After what seemed like an eternity, still nothing. As I was laying there I prayed, "Lord, I know your ways are not mine and help me to understand your will. Help me to be at peace and to trust you Lord. Please help me to see what you want me to learn from this however this ends up turning out. I trust You, Amen."

The nurse then asked if I knew if my uterus was tilted and I replied no, not that I knew of. She then said she just could not find the heartbeat and would get me in for an ultrasound down the hall. The cutest and sweetest (David and I met her already when we had an ultrasound at 6 weeks because of bleeding) little ultrasound tech welcomed me in. As she was scanning my tummy I turned my head so if what I feared had happened I did not want to see right away. She then turned up the volume and I heard music to my ears, the most precious sound, a wonderfully fast little heartbeat! I immediately burst into tears and thanked God. The ultrasound tech told me to stop because I was gonna make her cry. Seriously, I really had to stop crying because every time my belly moved the baby moved making it difficult for her to get measurements! The baby was so sweet looking with their little hiccups and all! It looked like a little jumping bean!

She then discovered the culprit to our heartbeat hearing difficulties... Yep you Guessed it, MY Uterus! It's tilted towards my tailbone and therefore made it difficult to hear the heartbeat but it should work itself out as the baby gets bigger.

I'll continue to keep you all posted on baby updates as I get closer to our little ones arrival.

An Ode to My Christmas Decorations!

So like I said in my previous post... I Love Christmas! I love the excitement and anticipation that comes immediately after Thanksgiving. I love the feeling of giving back to others (which I should do more often anyways not just at Christmas!) and finding new a creative ways to share the love of Christ. I love coming home from a long day of work to getting that warm and cozy feeling while being surrounded by all our decorations and lights. I love the swirl of outreach events our church participates in. I love looking at all the lights. I love all the food, the family visiting, sharing gifts, and the list goes on!

However, what I do not love is the break in my routine that the busyness of the Christmas season creates. Now I know this is my partial type A (I'm not a full-fledged type A, thank goodness) personality coming out along with a lot of selfishness. But I admit it, I am so looking forward to getting back to normal mode it's not even funny. I had to work the Friday after Christmas after having 6 days in a row off and I was really thrilled to get back into my old routine! So one of my attempts to "Get Back to Normal" is taking down the decorations, which I hope I can finish by Wednesday. We're going to Ohio to have Christmas with my husband's family and the last thing I want to do when we get back from our long drive is pack up stinkin' decorations! So I'm sharing some photos of my Christmas decor before they meet their demise!

Good Bye Christmas TreeGood Bye Nativity

Good Bye Kitchen Shelf Decorations

Early spring cleaning here I come!

At the Well Mondays-Getting to Know Me

Chelsey over at Joyful Living hosts Living at The Well Mondays and this week is all about getting to know one another. So I thought I'd join in and tell a few random things about myself.

I love to cook comfort food on dreary and rainy days.

I'm a lover not a fighter.

I appreciate those who are honest with me , even if it's brutal. I find it hard to do the same though, being brutal that is.

My sister teasingly calls me Polyanna.

I strive to find the best in people (hence my nickname!).

I'm rarely negative unless it's with money.

I like lavender and vanilla fabric softener.

We eat spaghetti here at least once a month.

We do not eat out much.

My favorite candles are baked apple pie, vanilla, and any other candle that smells like dessert.

My feet get extremely cold at night, even in the summer so I usually where socks.

I love to pray while taking a shower.

One of my first Bible verses I memorized was 1 Corinthians 10:13.

I currently work outside the home as I have been before becoming a believer and follower of Christ. I once felt as if my place was at home and still do, it is impossible at this point financially though but is a goal of mine and my husband's.

I consider my work place a mission field God has given me.

I have two believing co-workers I fellowship with and we pray once a week for co-workers, the economy, our boss, etc.

I am beginning to really loathe TV and would get rid of it if hubby was all for it.

I love it when hubby puts his hand on my back while we're singing on Sundays in church.

I have a fear of worms and they send a shiver up my spine when i have to tiptoe over them after a hearty spring rain...eeewww!

I LOOOVE to blog!

Okay, now it's your turn!

Election Thoughts

Isn't it nice to know that God's in control and can use all things? Well I had to remind myself of that today with the election results being as they were. If God didn't want Obama in office then he wouldn't be there. Plain & Simple!

I read an analogy today on one of my email daily devotionals. Politicians are like ants on a log in a river. You get one who scrambles to get up front and thinks they're steering the log downstream. However, the log is just floating along no matter what the ant does and the log's going to end up in the place it was meant to anyway. God's the captain, not the politicians.

Just food for thought!

Yeah, I Know!

I know what you're thinking... I said I was going to blog up a storm this past weekend and here it is almost a week later and nothin! I reeeaaalllly do have tons to update all of you on but I guess I've been too busy living life that I just don't have time to blog about it!

I know I sound like a broken record but we're STILL adjusting to having another little person in the house, or should I say... I'm still adjusting. I honestly don't know how ya'll all do it with three four or even five little ones at the same time. All of you women who God has blessed, A LOT, with oodles of children are my new heroes, except for Jesus of course!

I promise I'll finally put up the photos of the kids when we were at Grandma's and get some other stuff I keep meaning to post up.

Later Taters!